Showing posts with label The Empire Strikes Back. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Empire Strikes Back. Show all posts

Tuesday, 15 July 2025

The Empire Strips Back









Booby Fett’s 
Sith and Tail


The Empire Strips Back - 
A Burlesque Parody

Riverside Studios, Hammersmith, London
Sunday 13th July Matinee Show


It was on a Sunday afternoon when my Twin Ion Engines and I rocketed to the Riverside studios in Hammersmith to see the much talked about Star Wars themed burlesque show, The Empire Strips Back. It wasn’t a Solo mission, about eight of us went in the end. I had a bad feeling about this but, I’d have to say, nobody came away from this experience disappointed as the whole cast and crew were definitely strong with the Force. 

Indeed, the first act started off very strongly and it didn’t really go down hill from there. It began, after the familiar title crawl, with a Hoth scene and an absolutely brilliantly constructed Tauntaun carrying it’s concealed but curvy rider onto the stage. I was almost as impressed with the strong back underneath the sexy young lady that was able to do this through the suit as I was with the level of detail on the costume itself. After the rider dismounted and treated us all to a wonderful striptease style set piece (which included a few steps here and there from her Tauntaun companion), she finally removed her last top layer but, as she did so, she daintily slit open the Tauntaun’s belly and covered her modesty with its entrails before the lights went down. It brought the house down and things just went up from there. 

In the next set, a young and very female version of Luke Skywalker performed a strip routine as she washed down her faithfully reconstructed landspeeder on Tatooine. The twin suns aren’t the only things that come as a twosome on that particular planet, it would seem and, the stage got pretty wet by this point. We were thinking of her first movie destiny though, all of us trying to see if there would be an appearance of her thermal exhaust port at some point.  I know I tried but... apparently there is no try.

In between the acts we had an absolutely brilliant guy called Trevor, dressed in Lando Calrissian’s cape and outfit (and glasses) who was absolutely hilarious and got the audience energy up ten fold as he asked raunchy Star Wars questions of them, ad libbing his responses as he went. Not that we really needed it as the quality of the sexy dancing, not to mention the beautiful detail on the props and sets, was all extremely high but, you know, somebody has to distract the audience during the costume and set changes. 

Another great act, of many (too many to detail here in this review) was when we saw Princess Leia, through the magic of a revolving panel, revive Han Solo (who did a hand solo) from carbonite as the two, later joined by Greedo (or possibly some other Rodian), performed a risque dance to Smooth Criminal (pretty much the only Michael Jackson song I ever thought worth buying, back in the day). And the show continued on like this until the closing act of the first half, where Slave Leia, chained at the neck, did a wonderful set in Jabba the Hutt’s palace and, let me tell you, Jabba The Hutt was not far removed from the version used in the original, proper cut of Return Of The Jedi... except the original didn't also rap. It was great entertainment as she milked all the salacious crumbs in the audience. It would be true to say that everyone had their light sabres extended in anticipation of the next part of the show.

Now, that second act, which was only 40 mins in contrast to the first hour, was maybe not so big on the sets but it definitely had its moments. A weird one with a naked, old man Emperor, with his dangling testicles swinging back and forth the stage on a mini Death Star was, for this audience member, maybe a bit too much but, it was certainly different. 

However, the wonderful solo Jedi performance and the set piece where Darth Vader and her stormtrooper girls dance along to The Imperial March (among others… Gimme Some Lovin’) more than made up for that. It would be true to say these gals, unlike the stormtroopers in the movies, certainly didn’t stray wild of their targets… they just strayed wild. There were many more acts but I particularly liked the two, lesbian Twi’lek dancing to one of my favourite Portishead songs, Roads, during this second half. 

The lady C3PO dancer was good too… especially when the Jawa’s arrived to remove all her cladding. It turns out she was the droid the audience were all looking for.  I just wish they’d had that oil bath on hand… they missed a trick there.

Okay… target’s coming up. Almost there… The Empire Strips Back came to an end with a Star Warsy modified version of Rapper’s Delight, with the entire cast (including Trevor) and even a look in from Admiral Ackbar and Yoda, performing at the final knockings. The whole show was nothing short of brilliant with amazing sets, beautifully choreographed routines that would make a Bantha howl, brilliant light shows and, well, I’d really have to remark that none of the girls’ torpedoes just impacted on the surface here. I’d definitely come again, if the choice were mine and I hope this crew drift back into London sometime soon in the next few years. Booby Fett and all. 

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Topps Star Wars Cards - The Books



Topps N’ Swappers

Star Wars:
The Original Topps Trading Card
Series, Volume One

By Gary Gerani  ISBN: 978-1419711725

Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back:
The Original Topps Trading Card
Series, Volume Two

By Gary Gerani ISBN: 978-1419719141

Star Wars Galaxy:
The Original Topps
Trading Card Series.

By Gary Gerani ISBN: 1419719130


“Got. Got. Need. Got. Need. Need. Got. Got.”

This was a familiar kind of dialogue between kids in the playground on our breaks at school in the late 1970s to the early 1980s. By that time, we kids weren’t running around playing ‘tag’ or ‘vigilantes’ anymore. Anyone my age and in an English speaking school is going to know exactly what that opening line is all about. It’s about trading cards or, as they were known back then when the moniker actually made more sense than it would today, bubble gum cards.

For my 1138th blog entry I thought I’d better at least cover something which is associated with Lucasfilm in some way and these last three books released by Topps were an obvious choice. The company started releasing these overviews of some of their old sets of trading cards a few years back and they were an instant hit... at least with me and, I suspect, more than a few people of my generation. The books are not coffee table volumes, more a paperback size, but they are hardbacks and their design is impressive. The book covers sport dust jackets of the packet design for the original cards made out of exactly the same wax paper that those cards came wrapped in, almost guaranteeing an immediate rush of Proustian nostalgia  for anyone of a certain age who handles the books. This emotional connection to an object via touch is not something that the digital world can recreate, I might add... it’s something which can only be found when handling printed material.

When I heard that Topps were similarly covering their early Star Wars cards, I got very emotional about that... and here’s why.

As a kid in the mid-1970s, I’d started buying packets of Topps Bubble Gum cards called Shock Theatre. These cards contained a, 'usually quite inappropriately gory for the target audience', photograph from a Hammer Studios horror movie, supported by a funny caption and, on the back, facts about the scene the photo was taken from, coupled with some truly corny jokes. And, of course, the thin, brittle stick of bubble gum that Topps bundled with all their trading cards, the gum actually being the supporting feature rather than the main event with the freebie that such cards were originally invented to be, for various reasons which I won’t go into here. Alas, I only managed to acquire about half of the run of these cards because it wasn’t long before various kids’ censorious parents (not mine, I’m happy to say) and the schools in the local area pretty much banned us young 'uns from buying them or bringing them to school. I think a quiet word was had with the various newsagents too as they seemed to suddenly disappear from the shelves at the same time.  Not a happy period because... I loved those cards.

However, I’d seen the movie Star Wars pretty much the week it was released over here in the UK, in the very last week of 1977, and in 1978 the Topps Bubble Gum cards were in our country and doing great business with the kids. Star Wars was already a pretty much unstoppable force and the teachers didn’t even try to put a blockade up against these. So it was “Got. Got. Need. Need. Got.” that was the order of the day as kids would arrange their doubles into piles that other kids needed, and then calculate how many cards they could swap and how closer to a full set that would get them (in the case of the kids with the richer parents, some were completing their second or third sets). I’m happy to say I completed my one set and still have them all to this day... the blue borders filled with white stars a typically 1970s design feature of that first run which remains a sight that I’ll always treasure.

As the next few years rolled by I bought and swapped and put together all the card sets that Topps deigned to release in our snoozy little country... the second red border set of Star Wars, the two sets of Superman The Movie cards (white border and red border), the Battlestar Galactica cards (which had a white border and was 132 cards in total, double the size of  the standard 66 card sets we’d had up until then), The Black Hole cards and the Star Trek The Motion Picture cards. After that, Figurini Panini took over the market with their much less well designed stickers and that was pretty much the Topps phenomenon in the UK over for maybe a decade... but I saved all my sets and have kept them to this day.

What we kids over here didn’t know at the time was that we were only getting a fraction of the movie card releases that our American counterparts were getting. What’s more, some of the sets were slightly different. The sticker cards that came as an extra with the original US packets were not included in the UK versions, for example. The Star Wars cards actually went on for five sets in the US... third set with yellow borders, fourth set with green borders and a fifth set with orange borders. What’s more... our UK second set of Star Wars cards, while still containing the same design and photos, had the photos in a completely different order to the US cards and, also, numbered the cards 1A to 66A instead of 67 - 132.

I always wanted these US sets and, who knows, if I manage to keep my day job for a while longer, I might be able to track them down at a price not too expensive at some not too distant point in the future. For now, though, these Topps volumes are an absolute necessity for people like me and I can finally see the content of those other cards and also know some of the thoughts that went into creating them as the book is written by the man who was responsible for picking the photos, overseeing the art studio, captioning the fronts and writing the back copy on those things. Furthermore, it turns out that this same guy, Gary Gerani, is a very accomplished writer in various fields (I think he co-wrote the movie Pumpkinhead, which I’ll now have to try and get hold of at some point) and, more importantly to me and kids growing up in the 1970s everywhere, he wrote an old tome called Fantastic Television.

Now Fantastic Television was an absolute bible for us young ‘uns in the 1970s because books about any sci fi or fantasy TV or movies were very hard to come by and this thing was filled with anecdotes and episode guides (the first time the concept of an episode guide was ever a thing we’d heard of here in the UK) to shows such as Star Trek, Batman, The Adventures of Superman and Lost In Space (among many others). I think I bought mine at an early specialist comic/book shop called Dark They Were And Golden Eyed which is a name people of a certain generation may also remember. So this Gary Gerani guy is a writer who I absolutely trust and, honestly, these Topps books are great.

Mind you... there are some not so great things about these books too but, you know, I’ll get to that in a minute.

The cute thing about these volumes is that, if you peak at the front and back covers underneath the dust jackets, you’ll see a photo cover of an enlarged stick of Topps gum. It’s a shame they couldn’t scent the pages of these with that lovely bubble gum smell too but, either way, the little burst of emotion on finding this is rare... a lot of thought and love has been put in to these books.

The author starts off with an introduction to the card series, how they came about and how he worked with Lucasfilm to choose the images. He also provides little commentaries about a lot of the cards under the reproduction of each picture and the best part is that he’s very truthful about the pitfalls and weaknesses of some of the cards and sets they put out. He also gives it some great context as to how some of them were arranged. Some of that stuff was clearly random in terms of trying to follow the storyline order in some of the sets but, for example, little things like the way the opening sequence of the first set introduced the characters as inspired by the opening credits sequences of those same old theatrical serials like Flash Gordon that influenced George Lucas to make the films in the first place, are really interesting. Definitely buying into the spirit of the movies by a team of people who obviously had as much love and respect for their product as the people who would be buying the cards.

The first and best (for me) volume in the series shows all five sets of the original Star Wars cards, fronts and backs, and one little niggle is that, since the reprints are slightly larger than the original cards, some of the print quality issues of scanning from an image that is already put together from a raster, dots-per-inch screen are shown up fairly badly. But, honestly, this is really only a minor grumble. There are many points of interest the author points out in this thick, little volume, which is attractively designed and has a unique page numbering system where both of each spread’s page numbers are only shown on the left hand page. For example, he proves he really knows his stuff when, on a card depicting the heroes of the first film popping their heads out of the Millennium Falcon cargo bay, he points out the similarities between John Williams’ music in this moment and the three note madness theme composed by Bernard Herrmann and used, possibly inadvertently, a few times in movies such as Psycho and Taxi Driver.

Other fascinating bits of trivia extend to the fact that the majority of stills used were taken by the on-set photographer, and not lifted from the movie itself, which explains the impoverished nature of the special effects moments in the earlier sets and also explains such things as why the day for night sequence of Artoo snatched by Jawas on Tatooine is brightly lit... because the photographer was not using the same filters on the scene that the cameras recording the film were. He also addresses the dynamic green tint to some of the backgrounds on the rebel blockade runner interior shots (I actually always loved those green tints as a kid, truth be told) and how shots from deleted scenes made their way into the card sets too.

On the fourth series he points out that, by that time, the title to the sequel to the first movie had already been announced, moving him to caption one of the Star Wars cards with “The empire strikes back!”... which is a cheeky but seemingly precognitive moment for fans who weren’t, in those days of no internet and less global connection, in the know. He also addresses a fourth series problem which I’d certainly never heard about until now... but obviously a lot of American kids were certainly aware of it. That being the problem of C3PO’s penis on card 207. Apparently the crew had strapped a golden, robotic cock onto Threepio as a prank on set and one of the photos had seemingly made its way into the Lucasfilm archives. Nobody noticed that he was sporting a very prominent erection until many customers... or more likely parents of customers... wrote in and complained. This meant that, in light of this cock up, the set was recalled, the photos reprinted with the most visible parts of the opulent member airbrushed out, and then re-released into shops. However, this was after some time and so, Gerani points out, the airbrushed version of the card is actually the rarer of the two. Both cards are reprinted here side by side, so the differences can be compared and studied for anyone who’s into pondering the reproductive systems of androids in a galaxy far, far away. This prank may also be why Han Solo goes on to refer to Threepio as ‘golden rod’ in one scene of The Empire Strikes Back I suspect but... who knows?

My second grumble about the first book is that the backs of the cards are shown as a running series, rather than with the fronts, leaving you without a clue as to which B Sides and A Sides matched up unless you have the original set lying around. So that’s something I think could maybe had been done better but I suspect I know why this decision was made and, again, it’s only a minor grumble.

The first book finishes with the original run of Star Wars Wonder Bread cards, which were great little designs themselves. We obviously didn’t have those in the UK either but I picked up a set for a very cheap price in the early 1980s at a very occasional event we were calling, in those days, a comic mart. I remember it was in Central Hall Westminster, where many Film Conventions are still held to this day.

The second book (the third published) shows all the sets for The Empire Strikes Back, including the oversize novelty cards that made up the final series. This also reveals how the various companies were duped when handed out scripts of the second film, and how the movie makers managed to keep the revelation that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father a secret so that even the people involved in making the various commercial tie-ins for the movie were in the dark about this moment until they actually went to see it for themselves. It also goes a great deal to explain why the cards were captioned less effectively in those scenes as a result but, you know, it’s up to you to decide whether the hold back was worth the trade off, I guess.

Alas, this book also suffers from a kind of reverse problem to the first in the series, in that all of the card reprints are slightly smaller than the original cards, this time around. That being said, the backs and front are shown next to each other for context this time... so that’s good.

The third book, which is not linked to these first two and was released second in order, is a much thinner book devoted to the first three sets of the Star Wars Galaxy series from the 1990s. Now this seemed like a good buy for me, since I only have the first two sets in my personal library. However, as I read on, it was clear to me that there may have been some licensing issues with various artists who worked on these sets of exciting new visions of the Star Wars universe. Only a limited number of the cards from each set are reproduced... possibly only half. There are also no backs. So anyone expecting a complete overview of those three sets should be warned, I think, that not everything is in here. Also... I don’t know why only the first three sets were picked on when, honestly, I think their have been at least seven sets of Star Wars Galaxy since they started. Still, this volume does contain some interesting facts about the artists and the scenes they created for this series so... if you are into reading up on your bubble gum/trading card history... then this book is probably something you should also check out.

These books are a solid recommendation from me for any fans of trading cards and pop culture throughout the years, young or old. And the absolute icing on the cake on these well designed, well written volumes is that each one contains a little, clear envelope containing four, exclusive to these books, Topps trading cards. So they are definitely worth having if you are into card collecting or even, like me, into casual card acquiring.

All in all, an enchanting set of volumes which will delight fans of these miniature slices of a cultural phenomenon in no uncertain terms. A fourth volume, Star Wars - Return Of The Jedi: The Original Topps Trading Card Series, Volume Three is due out this August so, if you are a fan of these books, get your pre-orders in now. These are absolute future classics that I think people will speak highly of for years to come. Collect ‘em all!

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back




Final Bespination

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back 
1980 plus subsequent ruinations USA 
Directed by Irvin Kershner
20th Century Fox BluRay Region A/B 

So the first Star Wars had a considerable impact on the Western world. Adults and children alike were seemingly talking about nothing else for the three years we had to wait for the sequel. I remember I must have read those two volumes of Marvel Treasury adaptations of the first film about 50 times in the intervening years... along with starting my big ring binders full of Star Wars sketches, articles and notes. I even “published” a single issue of a science fiction magazine for some of the kids at school... armed with my mum’s typewriter, some scissors to cut photos out of the newspapers, some glue to stick them down on the page next to the type and, with the help of the photocopier in my dad’s office... I put out something that would look amateurish by today's standards but was looking pretty good to me as a kid. I think it would be safe to say, and this may have even been a tag line on one of the posters, that The Empire Strikes Back was “the most eagerly awaited sequel of all time”. This in a time when sequels were no longer a standard thing in Hollywood.

It’s interesting but, in those days, the notion of having spoilers was not really an issue. I think Hitchcock had started a publicity campaign for not spoiling the ending of Psycho when it was released in 1960 but this was not really “a thing” for movies or TV shows in 1980. At least, that’s not how I remember it. So there was a lot of pre-publicity for this film and also a lot of knowledge about the content. Full disclosure in fact.

I remember reading Alan Dean Foster’s excellent Star Wars spin off novel, Splinter Of A Mind’s Eye, at least a year before the second movie hit our screens. If you’ve ever read it, it seems a pretty obvious conclusion that Leia has Jedi powers. In fact, it always puzzled me why so many people were speculating so hard about the line in The Empire Strikes Back when Yoda turns to the ghost version of Obi Wan Kenobi and says... “No, there is another.” Had they not read Splinter Of A Mind’s Eye? I thought it was pretty obvious who “the other hope” was.

At least three months before Empire opened over here (and my brain is telling me that it was at least 6 months before but I have no conclusive dates to work from), there was a big exhibition of costumes, models and drawings from The Empire Strikes Back in Selfridges. I went three times at least (I tended to be in London a lot during school holidays) and it blew me away. This was the only way, at the time, to see a playback of the trailer for the movie which hadn’t hit British cinemas yet. It was amazing.

Both the novelisation and the paperback reprint of the US comic book came out over here many weeks (possibly months) before the movie was released and I remember reading the comic strip and being in awe that Darth Vader turned out to be Luke Skywalker’s father. These days, if you watch the entire saga in chronological order, it’s no longer a “surprise reveal” and so I guess even this information doesn’t count as a spoiler in any way these days. I was also quite intrigued, that the movie left the story on a cliffhanger. I kept my silence about this stuff because I didn’t want my mum and dad to know what was going to happen before they saw it but I remember my father, before we saw Empire, wondering out aloud if they would bother doing another sequel. I remember answering that they would be in real trouble if they didn’t.

When I finally saw the finished film it was in no way really spoiled by reading the comic strip adaptation (which in those days were often quite different in detail and expression than the work they were adapting anyway) and it surpassed, as far as I was concerned, the absolute brilliance of the first Star Wars movie (reviewed here). I was already pumped up by the comic strip, a couple of clips on clapperboard and a recently aired TV documentary on John Williams by that time but the movie certainly lived up to my, frankly, giant sized expectations.

To say it’s the darkest of the Star Wars saga is an understatement. The only film in the series that comes close in its portrayal of some pretty bleak events is The Phantom Menace (and many people would argue with me on that point I expect... it’s reviewed here if you want to take a look) and The Empire Strikes Back certainly lives up to the implication of its title. The heroes are basically on the run all the way through this movie, Han gets frozen and taken away for bounty after being betrayed by his friend in a less than black and white moral dilemma, Luke loses his hand and ends up becoming closer to Darth Vader in spirit when it is replaced by a mechanical version and... basically... the rebels who are the main protagonists lose at the end. A good dramatic answering call to the previous movie and a perfect set up for an upbeat, good triumphs over evil resolution for the next... something which I remember George Lucas was very aware of when interviewed about it a while later.

It’s also got some truly impressive set pieces such as the fantastic Battle Of Hoth (although I don’t like the “revised” snowspeeder details on the overhauled versions of the film) and the Millennium Falcon’s chase through the asteroid field. It’s also the feature film introduction of Bobba Fett, although he has now been retroactively “inserted” into the previous movie too. I remember sporting a very trendy Bobba Fett T-shirt the year the film was first released. His first appearance was actually 1978, of course, in the much ridiculed Star Wars TV Summer Special... something which I’ve still not quite brought myself to watch, over the years.

And, of course, the music by Johnny Williams is absolutely fantastic... even surpassing the excellent score he did for the first movie, for some listeners. Certainly, The Battle of Hoth gives us some of the most intricate and exciting action music of all time and his scoring for The Asteroid Field is one of his greatest cues. A slightly watered down version was used by him for years in concerts (the first time I saw him perform this live was in either 1981 or 1982 at the Barbican Centre in London) but even that version is great... although the less symmetrical version used in the movie is very powerful.

The use of leitmotif in the score gets a bit screwy unless you’re really concentrating. For instance, when Luke lands on Cloud City (Lucas’ echo of the city of the Hawkmen from the original Flash Gordon strip and serial... as we all recognised straight away) to rescue his friends, an action fanfare version of Yoda’s Theme is used in quite a striking way... even though Yoda has left the film by this point. I guess the justification here is Luke is going into battle fresh from the teachings of Yoda but... I don’t know. It always seemed a bit out of place though, frankly, too wonderful and powerful to really care about in terms of musical continuity at the time.

Unfortunately, this movie now also suffers from the curse of Star Wars revisionism. Lucas has added and subtracted bits over the years and made replacements to fit in with his extended continuity. Both the Emperor and his voice, for instance, now match with the later Ian McDiarmid version and there’s even an entirely new scene composed of using shots from a few sources, including Return Of The Jedi, where Luke and his father have a Jedi “mind conversation”. This last bit wasn’t in the movie before and, frankly, detracts rather than adds to the power of the final, rebels running away in defeat, wind down of the film.

All in all, though, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back is still the greatest movie in the Star Wars saga. It kept people talking and speculating for the next three years while they were waiting for the third one and, as you would know if you spend any time on the internet at all, people are still talking and speculating about the continuing franchise to this day. The Star Wars series of films is probably the most powerful and popular series of films ever released in cinemas... and the initial strength of The Empire Strikes Back is one of the reasons why.

Star Wars at NUTS4R2

 Episode 1: The Phantom Menace 

Episode 2: Attack Of The Clones

Episode 3: Revenge Of The Sith 

Solo

Rogue One 

Episode 4: A New Hope

Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back

Episode 6: Return Of The Jedi 

Episode 7: The Force Awakens 

Episode 8:  The Last Jedi

Episode 9: The Rise Of Skywalker